He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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