there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
