I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
