you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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