We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
