A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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