he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
