I think I am morally bankrupt
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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