HIV tests are more positive than that guy
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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