I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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