she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There's always time for handjobs
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
