oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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