Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
