the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
