worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Enjoy the penises
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize