Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize