her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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