Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
