Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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