For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize