i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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