am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We need a shit load of segways right now
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
