you would pick up someone in the library
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
this hospital has no fireball
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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