is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm like, not good at living.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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