when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
