Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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