A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
