North Korea, Best Korea!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
