: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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