The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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