The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize