I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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