It's like God shit irony all over that family
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
