Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
