You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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