im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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