It's like God shit irony all over that family
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
