idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
