Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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