Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
