When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
