Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
