We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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