the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I want to make a zoo with you.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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