Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize