I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I pour the whiskey from now on
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
