My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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