you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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