How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Naked. naked and bneed help.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
