i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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