Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
