This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
