Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
