So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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