the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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