Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
