That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
