Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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