I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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