ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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