There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
