In the future we'll all be gay
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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