Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
