ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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