she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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