Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
