im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
